The Faith of Eliezer (Genesis 24:27)

In my last post I promised two sequels on my continually evolving thoughts on different groups at the intersection of the LGBTQ+ and Latter-day Saint communities. I promise those are still coming. But I have lots to say and those posts take time to write. And I wanted to get this shorter post up while some thoughts were still on my mind from my scripture study today, and also provide an update on my personal life.

This week’s Come Follow Me reading begins in Genesis 24 with the story of Abraham giving a special request to his chief servant (who is oddly never named in this chapter, but we know his name from chapter 15 to be Eliezer). Abraham asks Eliezer to find a faithful, Jehovah-believing wife for his son Isaac from among his family far away in the land of his birth. Abraham makes clear the absolute importance of this request, which at his age could be the last he ever makes of Eliezer for all he knows. Eliezer understands the weight of the assignment and immediately starts getting really stressed about it.

After making the long trip, he arrives and, worried about his ability to fulfill the assignment and find the right wife for Isaac, prays for guidance and even asks to see the Lord’s hand revealed in a specific way. While he’s still finishing the prayer, his requested sign is given and Rebecca is revealed to be the chosen bride for Isaac through her gesture of compassion in giving water to him and his camels. He is so overwhelmed by the miracle that he immediately prays again, with a pure prayer of gratitude in verse 27:

“And he said, Blessed be the Lord God of my master Abraham, who hath not left destitute my master of his mercy and his truth: I being in the way, the Lord led me to the house of my master’s brethren.”

I’ve heard this story many times. Kind of. We talk about it every four years in Sunday school, briefly between the comparatively more exciting stories of Abraham and Isaac on the mountain, the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, and soon thereafter Esau’s economically unwise trade of birthright for soup. Compared to the stories of floods, parted seas, slain giants, and lion’s dens throughout the rest of the Old Testament, this simple story can get easily lost and we often move past it as just a "nice" little story. Today, though, it hit me as perhaps one of the most meaningful miracles recorded in scripture specifically because of its non-grandeur and humble personal scale. I can relate far more to Eliezer’s personal miracle and trial of faith than the giant miraculous stories that fill much of the scriptures, because his story reflect my own. We travel long distances not sure if we’re going about doing the will of the Lord in the proper way or if He’s even really there guiding us. But then He shows himself in these small ways that to others can so easily be dismissed as coincidence, but to us in that moment the miracle is real and we see and feel the hand of the Lord. When Moses parts the red sea, nobody can deny the power of the God and the veracity of the miracle. But this miracle was a personal tender mercy just for Eliezer that showed the Lord was there for him and would help him. And for most of us, that is virtually the only kind of miracle we will ever witness.

The last year has brought me a lot of reflection. It has been a year now since I disclosed major transgressions to my wife and bishop and began rebuilding my faith. The journey so far has been both hard at times, and yet remarkably easier than I could have ever hoped for. I have had no significant relapses during this year and no longer even really feel much of a pull towards a lot of the addictions and bad behaviors anymore. I am happy. My wife and I have strengthened our marriage and are the closest we’ve ever been. We’ve had some trials along the way including notably a miscarriage last fall that had subsequent complications requiring surgery for my wife. I think the ways we repaired our marriage better prepared us for that trial. Overall, I’m stunned at the rapid speed which I’ve made so much meaningful progress. I also would be remiss not to cite the amazing power of a great therapist and a local support group who have helped me through many of the most difficult emotional times.

My relationship with God, which 18 months ago was almost nonexistent, has been revived. It is still difficult sometimes. I often feel like Eliezer, pushing forward in the wilderness hoping the Lord will be there when I need Him. I will sometimes travel a few months of my journey where I will feel a spiritual dullness, waiting to see the hand of the Lord revealed. And it always is revealed eventually after patience in small, personal miracles. I am grateful that amidst the mighty earth-shaking miracles, we also have captured this small, tender personal miracle as a reminder of the way most of us “non-prophets” are going to interact with the Lord along the way. And I hope as you seek him that you too will feel the hand of the Lord when you need it, even if you have to push all the way to the well in Haran before you see it revealed.