Forsaken (Matthew 27:46)

Matthew 27:46 records one of the most heart-wrenching utterances ever given:

And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is to say, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?

Have you ever felt that way? I have. Some nights my prayers are amazing two-way conversations that lift me up and give me direction. Other nights, I feel like I need to get out the cleaning supplies to scrub my seemingly unheard prayers off the ceiling. Those nights feel so lonely. The worst is feeling like I've obviously done something wrong to merit being ignored by my Creator. I've come to understand, slowly, that that's a dangerous line of thought that only breeds unnecessary depression. God doesn't fall silent only when we've displeased Him, because he didn't send us to Earth just to get constant step-by-baby-step direction anyway. If He told us every answer, it wouldn't be much of a test now would it? Besides, if feeling forsaken was always a sign of displeasing God, then Matthew 27:46 wouldn't exist, because Christ certainly never displeased God--and yet He once felt forsaken also.

I believe C.S. Lewis put it really well in his preface to the Screwtape letters when he said:

"God wants us to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with our stumbles. The cause of the adversary is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do His will, looks around upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys."

Moral of the story: it's okay to feel forsaken. Indeed, it's IMPORTANT to feel forsaken sometimes. The choice is then ours what we will do in our seemingly forsaken state, and God is hoping it is to not give up but to keep moving forward. Just remember, that though He may fall silent and withdraw for a time behind the "pavilion that covereth [His] hidng place" (D&C 121:1), He never truly forsakes us. After all, why did He send Christ to Gethsemane and to Golgotha? "That he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities" (Alma 7:12). Sometimes He succors us by knowing the right times to let go of our hands and let us walk on our own. Thus His withdrawl becomes in fact a divine grace and reassurance that He absolutely hasn't forsaken us, but is helping us through our infirmities.

My best,

Obadiah