Tuesday, December 27, 2011

One month at War (Isaiah 2:4)

Today marks one month since this blog began. It's come a really long way since then, as have I. This blog has been an outlet, a source of therapy, a forum for discussion, and a chance to connect with new friends. I've learned a lot about myself and have treasured the opportunity to view the scriptures through the unique lens of my trials. Here's a quick rundown of the blog's first month:

Total number of visitors: 927
Total number of posts: 19
Countries read in: 10 (top three: United States, Russia, United Kingdom)

Top posts this month, in order of popularity:
Forsaken (Matthew 27:46)
Love thy Neighbor (Matthew 22:35-39)
Grace and Gasoline (2 Nephi 25:23)

These make sense given how much they've been shared and reshared across the internet by loyal readers. Honestly, I couldn't be happier because if I were to pick three favorite posts I'd prefer to see garner attention, these would be them! (Though I'd probably reverse the order). You should expect  to see yesterday's post about telling my parents top the list pretty soon though, it is already in fourth place after only 24 hours!

Above all things this blog has been so far, it has been my effort to go to war. Of course, as the "Love thy Neighbor" post listed above explains, my warfare is waged in LOVE ONLY. One of the primary reasons I started this blog was to share my blessings, love, and support with others caught in the crossfire. This is a war for the souls of men. I hope no group or individual feels like they are my opponent in it. Indeed, I hope rather to be a comrade to all. The war is on Evil, Hate, Sin, Prejudice, and all other vices Satan employs. I wage the war in my soul every day, but knew that I had insights I could bring to the larger battlefield. Guess what? So do you! As a hymn reminds us:

Then don't stand idly looking on, the fight with sin is real;
It will be long but must go on, put your shoulder to the wheel!

If you have a drop of testimony, please share it. We are all enlisted to help each other draw closer to the God of heaven. I have been incredibly supported personally by other blogs here in cyber-world (see my list of great uplifting picks on the side bar--by no means comprehensive!). You may have the words that can help someone struggling! Sometimes the "(Gay) Mormon Guy" blog or "You Don't Know Me" or "Masked Man" or any of the others there on the side have had just the right thing for me. Tomorrow I might need your input.

War is scary. I haven't had fun every minute by any means! I don't enjoy conflict. I regularly now get threatening emails on account of this blog! But the war must be fought today until that great last day when the prophecy of Isaiah (chapter 2:4) will be fulfilled which says:

"And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more."

I long for that day. One day peace and righteousness will prevail. In the meantime, welcome to the battle. How are ways you fight?


  1. Threats? Are you serious?! :(

    I'm excited for the future of this blog and am happy to be among those listed on the right. Thank you, O!

  2. Obadiah, you read my mind. For the past couple of days I've felt very much at war with myself. Fighting SSA is so hard. Very hard. Every second of the day it seems like I'm thinking about something tied to my SSA and how hard it is to have it. I fight the compulsion to stare at other guys. I fight the feelings that instantly rush over me when I glance at a good looking guy. I fight the urge to sexualize those feelings and act out on them. I fight temptations. I fight depression. I fight loneliness. I fight wanting to give up. So how exactly do I fight it? I am a strong believer that when truth is known and understood, it has power. I seek to understand the truth about everything so as to liberate me. The truth about pornography is that it severely damages self-esteem. The truth about masturbation is that it provides a false sense of intimacy and leaves behind feelings of emptiness. The truth about same-sex attraction is that it is my trial in life, and I accept it as something to overcome--something to make me a better person in the end. "And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32

    Obadiah, I love your blog. Pay those threatening emails no mind. I would ignore them as much as possible. It's simple things like this where I can write out my feelings that keep me going. I need to know there are other people out there who are fighting with me.

    You're probably annoyed that I'm always one of the first to comment on your posts. The truth is, I'm fighting this war quite desperately right now. Every tidbit of online interaction is all I have to hang onto until I can figure things out. I'm really sorry if I seem fanatic. It's not my intent to burden you or anyone else with my ramblings.

    Thanks man

  3. Regarding "threats," I suppose "hate mail" might be a better phrase. Not all of them threaten me per se. But I do get angry emails. I've only got one anti-gay email. The majority are anti-Mormon, and usually specifically from other gay people.

    They actually don't bug me at all. They usually just remind me that no good cause goes unopposed. Actually, a lot of them come from the same person who emails me at least once a week with pretty much the sam angry message every time. He always writes in all-caps, which makes me laugh. I actually haven't heard from him in over a week, which is sad because I'd begun to find his repetitious tirades somewhat endearing. (I'm really hard to annoy or offend). I hope he writes again soon! I'm starting to miss him. :)

    Tyler, don't sweat it. Your comments are always insightful and don't bug me at all. :)

    My best,



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