Sorry for no post yesterday--it was a totally busier day than I anticipated! Anyway, I totally wanted to put up a post on body image issues, as that subject has been on my mind lately, but I think this will be my last chance to post before Christmas, so I wanted to put up a special Christmas post! My day today is pretty much planned out and I'll be driving home for the holidays (finally!!!) a significant portion of the time, not getting in until early morning hours on Christmas Eve. I definitely don't plan to blog on Christmas Eve or Christmas either. :) So, my body image post will have to wait. In fact, it will probably be delayed almost a week, because in the days right after Christmas I'm planning on telling my parents (eek!) so I'm sure that topic is going to consume my blogging time. Anyway...
One of my favorite Christmas stories is the one told in the Book of Mormon in 3 Nephi chapter 1. The believers of Christ have been waiting the five years Samuel prophecied for Christ to come. When the fifth year arrives without any signs of the Savior's birth, there begins to be some conflict...
5 There were some who began to say that he time was past for the words to be fulfilled, which were spoken by Samuel the Lamanite.
6 And they began to rejoice over their brethren, saying: Behold the time is past, and the words of Samuel are not fulfilled; therefore, your joy and your faith concerning this thing hath been vain.
Some people are just waiting for God to be wrong. They relish the thought and can't wait for the slightest bit of proof against God, usually merely to validate their lives lived contrary to His will. I bear no ill will for people like this. If there are some who don't want to be part of my "joy and faith concerning this thing," then so be it. Their loss. I hope we can still be friends. Unfortunately for those in our story, the unbelievers aren't satisfied merely sitting back passively disagreeing. Quite to the contrary, in fact:
9 Now it came to pass that there was a day set apart by the unbelievers, that all those who believed in those traditions [the prophecied signs of the Savior's birth] should be put to death except the sign should come to pass, which had ben given by Samuel the prophet.
Nephi, the prophet, is a little concerned (to put it lightly). He's already had to be patient when the sign didn't come right at the 5 year mark from Samuel's prophecies. Now if the sign doesn't come, he and all his loved ones are going to be killed! So, he kneels down to talk to God about it and receives the following glorious message from the Lord:
13 Lift up your head and be of good cheer; for behold, the time is at hand, and on this night shall the sign be given, and on the morrow come I into the world, to show unto the world that I will fulfil all that which I have caused to be spoken by the mouth of my holy prophets.
That to me is as classic a Christmas verse as the entirety of Luke 2 (and if you've been tracking the scriptures I use on this blog, you've probably noticed that I value the New Testamen pretty highly!). I love how the first words Christ speaks--a message to "Be of good cheer"--echo the sentiments expressed to Mary and to the shepherds in the Old World. I love also the reminder of the reward for Nephi's patience--that God fulfills everything He promises.
I also love the insight this story gives into why God can't solve all my trials for me whenever I want: because the world is a big place and God has other children too! Think about it: it would have been really nice for Nephi and the believers if the signs had just happened on the exact 5 year mark from Samuel's prophecy. But if God had spared them that trial, think about the implications for Joseph and Mary! Who knows how premature the birth would have been or what other disadvantageous circumstances would have come about. I mean, even to scoot the time up by one day would have meant that Mary would have given birth in the wilderness somewhere between Nazareth and Bethlehem. Not ideal. Furthermore, perhaps what the saints in Nephi's land really needed was that trial of patience to make them truly firm in their faith.
I've said it before on this blog, but it never hurts to say it again: living a faithful LDS covenant life with SSA is a game of patience. I have faith that God "will fulfil all that which [He has] caused to be spoken by the mouth of [His] holy prophets." If I live faithful I will find my eternal companion, as has been promised me. It might not be soon. What if it isn't in this life? So be it. I will wait, and along the way I will "be of good cheer!"
To all you faithful readers, many of whom have become great friends though I've never seen your faces: I love you! I wish everyone the Merriest Christmas and will write again to you after Christmas Day.
My best,
Obadiah
P.S. If you want an absolutely absurd Christmas laugh, check out this blog post from what is probably one of the strangest but funniest Mormon blogs out there:
http://www.mormonwookiee.com/2011/12/30-chewbacca-sings-silent-night.html
Showing posts with label 3 Nephi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 3 Nephi. Show all posts
Friday, December 23, 2011
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Looking to lust (3 Nephi 12:28-30)
I have to begin by saying that I know already that this will be my most difficult and awkward post to write yet. I'm going to explore in words difficult feelings that much of this blog is about trying to understand. Please bear with me as I talk about delicate thoughts and emotions that are uncomfortable to express and the relevant gospel applications that guide me. So, here goes...
I have had crushes on lots of men in my life--even long before I recognized/labeled them as such. The fact is, there isn't anything inherently wrong with that either. It's hard to describe what exactly a crush is. To experience is a crush is to feel somethine compelling, magnetic, exciting, and confusing. The person on whom you have the crush is absolutley beautiful to you, and every thing they do seems wonderful.
This whole semester, even while for a short time I was dating a girl (yes, I date girls and I'll discuss that in a future post), I have had a really strong crush on a guy whose name is NOT Methuselah, but that's what I'm going to call him in this post. He's a little younger than I am, average-athletic build, very kind, and his smile completely disarms me. As I said, this is a very difficult post to write. What I just said I could never, ever say out loud and it feels uncomfortable to admit this. Nonetheless, it is also pretty important that I come to terms with these feelings in order to understand and master them, rather than letting them master me.
To make matters all the more complicated, I am in a leadership position over "Methuselah" and see him on a daily basis. In case you are reading this and do not have same-sex attraction, just think of a crush you've had on anyone of the opposite gender. It would be especially awkward if they ever noticed you just staring at them and admiring them. Well, now imagine how much MORE awkward it would be if you were a guy who saw another guy staring at you that same way. Happily, I can report that he's never seen me do any such thing... but that doesn't mean I haven't been looking. I don't look at him for very long, as I try very hard and consciously not to, despite my fascination with him. I try so hard that there are days I scarcely look at him at all because I just avoid him with my eyes at all costs. It doesn't help that he has a fantastic personality that reinforces his stunning looks. In the future I'll probably address more about the interesting dynamic of attempting a normal friendship with "Methuselah," but for now I'd just like to discuss the idea of a crush vs. lust.
I absolutley love the sermon on the mount, as well as its parallel sermon at the temple in Bountiful as recorded in the Book of Mormon. Most of the verses in the two versions are exactly the same, with only a few occasional and subtle changes. Interestingly, some of the verses where the biggest textual discrepancies exist are about the subject at hand. I'm going to go with the 3 Nephi version for this post, though I won't rule out comparing the two in depth in a future post as the changes are very intriguing. While discussing adultery in a higher law context, the Savior says,
Whosoever looketh on a woman [or man] to lust after her [him], hath committed adultery already in his heart. Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye suffer none of these things to enter into your heart; For it is better that ye should deny yourselves of these things wherein ye will take up your cross.
What does it mean to look at a man "to lust after him"? It seems to me that a crush doesn't qualify for that in and of itself. After all, everyone has crushes, and yet I doubt all of us are guilty of committing sexually immoral sins in our heart. I think the line for "looking to lust" lies in fantasizing upon our crushes or sexualizing our thoughts about them. We will all feel attracted at one point or another, but we must let only love, and not lust enter our heart. Honestly, there are appropriate forms of charity and love we must feel for everyone. There are romantic forms of love we must control and only let out when appropriate. Lust is a corrupted form of this latter love.
Sometimes, weakness will happen and you'll begin to fantasize or think thoughts that lead to arousal. Don't condemn yourself for that. Rather, just work on controlling it. Sing a hymn, think of a scripture, solve a math problem, think of your long list of homework and other responsibilities, PRAY (those last two are my personal effective favorites) or whatever it takes to get your mind somewhere else. For it is better that you deny yourself those thoughts and take up your cross.
Some of you feel embarassed or guilty that you feel the way you do about certain men. Please don't. While you don't need to allow yourself to let your thoughts go too far, that same standard applies to people attracted to the opposite gender as well. As for a crush or a strong attraction in and of itself, however, you are not at fault for that! Don't hate yourself. If you are having suicidal thoughts, get help. Talking to someone about those feelings can help. You, like me, may not be comfortable sharing those thoughts out loud. You are always welcome to email me for advice at anothergaymormon@gmail.com . God loves you, and He will give you the strength to press forward. He will help you keep your thoughts within appropriate bounds.
My Best,
Obadiah
I have had crushes on lots of men in my life--even long before I recognized/labeled them as such. The fact is, there isn't anything inherently wrong with that either. It's hard to describe what exactly a crush is. To experience is a crush is to feel somethine compelling, magnetic, exciting, and confusing. The person on whom you have the crush is absolutley beautiful to you, and every thing they do seems wonderful.
This whole semester, even while for a short time I was dating a girl (yes, I date girls and I'll discuss that in a future post), I have had a really strong crush on a guy whose name is NOT Methuselah, but that's what I'm going to call him in this post. He's a little younger than I am, average-athletic build, very kind, and his smile completely disarms me. As I said, this is a very difficult post to write. What I just said I could never, ever say out loud and it feels uncomfortable to admit this. Nonetheless, it is also pretty important that I come to terms with these feelings in order to understand and master them, rather than letting them master me.
To make matters all the more complicated, I am in a leadership position over "Methuselah" and see him on a daily basis. In case you are reading this and do not have same-sex attraction, just think of a crush you've had on anyone of the opposite gender. It would be especially awkward if they ever noticed you just staring at them and admiring them. Well, now imagine how much MORE awkward it would be if you were a guy who saw another guy staring at you that same way. Happily, I can report that he's never seen me do any such thing... but that doesn't mean I haven't been looking. I don't look at him for very long, as I try very hard and consciously not to, despite my fascination with him. I try so hard that there are days I scarcely look at him at all because I just avoid him with my eyes at all costs. It doesn't help that he has a fantastic personality that reinforces his stunning looks. In the future I'll probably address more about the interesting dynamic of attempting a normal friendship with "Methuselah," but for now I'd just like to discuss the idea of a crush vs. lust.
I absolutley love the sermon on the mount, as well as its parallel sermon at the temple in Bountiful as recorded in the Book of Mormon. Most of the verses in the two versions are exactly the same, with only a few occasional and subtle changes. Interestingly, some of the verses where the biggest textual discrepancies exist are about the subject at hand. I'm going to go with the 3 Nephi version for this post, though I won't rule out comparing the two in depth in a future post as the changes are very intriguing. While discussing adultery in a higher law context, the Savior says,
Whosoever looketh on a woman [or man] to lust after her [him], hath committed adultery already in his heart. Behold, I give unto you a commandment, that ye suffer none of these things to enter into your heart; For it is better that ye should deny yourselves of these things wherein ye will take up your cross.
What does it mean to look at a man "to lust after him"? It seems to me that a crush doesn't qualify for that in and of itself. After all, everyone has crushes, and yet I doubt all of us are guilty of committing sexually immoral sins in our heart. I think the line for "looking to lust" lies in fantasizing upon our crushes or sexualizing our thoughts about them. We will all feel attracted at one point or another, but we must let only love, and not lust enter our heart. Honestly, there are appropriate forms of charity and love we must feel for everyone. There are romantic forms of love we must control and only let out when appropriate. Lust is a corrupted form of this latter love.
Sometimes, weakness will happen and you'll begin to fantasize or think thoughts that lead to arousal. Don't condemn yourself for that. Rather, just work on controlling it. Sing a hymn, think of a scripture, solve a math problem, think of your long list of homework and other responsibilities, PRAY (those last two are my personal effective favorites) or whatever it takes to get your mind somewhere else. For it is better that you deny yourself those thoughts and take up your cross.
Some of you feel embarassed or guilty that you feel the way you do about certain men. Please don't. While you don't need to allow yourself to let your thoughts go too far, that same standard applies to people attracted to the opposite gender as well. As for a crush or a strong attraction in and of itself, however, you are not at fault for that! Don't hate yourself. If you are having suicidal thoughts, get help. Talking to someone about those feelings can help. You, like me, may not be comfortable sharing those thoughts out loud. You are always welcome to email me for advice at anothergaymormon@gmail.com . God loves you, and He will give you the strength to press forward. He will help you keep your thoughts within appropriate bounds.
My Best,
Obadiah
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